After reading everything that has been said by those around me in their enteries I decieded that I need to start my own online diary. Just so that everyone knows how I feel. B.J. you sure in the hell have blantly lied in the past. You lied about what happened between us to those that you sought to keep in the dark and under your thumb. And now I am being infomed that you bragged about it to certain people. This behavior disgusts me, and what is more is the fact that you will not even admit to your mistakes, instead you just cover them up with more lies. You have said that I am on your good side, but you never asked to see what I thought of you now. I actually loved you and would have done almost anything for you. Watching Stephen die to keep your secret was not on that list though. You took that love and you abused it and used me for gods only know what. You have hurt me beyond all feeling, you have caused me to become numb. Because of my mistakes which I have admitted to I have lost everything that I held dear to me. And for a long time that included you, now I just want to know that you are happy, and I want us to be civil to each other, I want nogthing more. And I swear you fuck with me again and you will be sorry. To Malachi, I want to be able to trust you, but you see what your brother did to me, and I am not sure I am ready to trust again. Atleast not with anything besides my saftey, you do remeber that I never flinched when you put the sword to my throat. But I fear to much that you will take the trust and friendship that I have given you and use it to hurt someone else. I have seen Michele hurt once and it was my fault I will not see her hurt again. Don't fuck with me and everything will be okay. And understand that it will take time for me to learn to trust again. All of this crap has drive me to the cliff and I will not fall off again. If you have a problem with me, you can tell me but please don't go around whispering your feelings. And no more threats *glares at BJ*! There will be no more pain between any of us. So far no one has given me a good reason why you should hate each other so much. With Crimson Tears I leave you to your lives.