damnit all. everything. cept my guitar. I HATE all this shit going on. But you see, i dont have any way to deal with it. I wont resort to drugs, alcohol or cutting my self. I have no clue how to deal with it. I wish i could sit there (or stand, whatever) and play my guitar all day. but you know theres all this shit that cuts into it. like supper, chores, SCHOOL, phone calls. i need a day where i have absolutely no communication with the outside world, a day where i can be alone, and cry all i want, and no one will be there to bitch at me. a place where i can scream as loud as i want. a place where i can make all those horrible sounding things on my guitar that arent considered music. i need it. badly. theres some things i do in a day where i dont think about any of the crap going on, for example, when i play my guitar. and (for some strange reason) when i do math or math homework. it calms me. i know my life doesnt seem as dramatic as other people's, but its very hard for me. Ugh. I will never have that day. Ever. There's always going to be something there, keeping me from being alone. But, i think if i was left alone,i would go crazy. I have a goal for myself : try to be nicer to people. I am mean. I know I am, people tell me I'm not, but i know I am. I just act like I'm fine, like I'm not freaking out or anything. You never hear me talk about my problems to my friends. One day, I'm just going to start freakin out, and not be able to stop. *sigh* life is not fair :) question: why does no body like me? (my friends dont count) its things like this that put me down even more :)