Grr I'm having an internal fight with myself. Here's what its about: I don't like to drink, or do drugs. But why? The drinking thing is strange. I don't know why. I haven't had a bad experience while being drunk, and never been hungover so .. why? Is it because my dad is an alcoholic and I hate it when my parents get drunk? Or is it because I feel that I don't need alcohol to have a good time. I've had a considerably excellent time with friends while I was sober, compared to when I wasn't. Even when I had a little to drink I didn't feel different. I hate hard liquor. I can't drink it. Makes me feel sick. And I actually get a little pissed if not upset when people prefer to have alcohol to have a good time.. but that's just me. The only times I drink are in celebration. Or when I attempt to drink is because I'm so down I need a sort of upper. I have an anti drug so I know why i don't do it. Since I started dating Ben I've only smoked weed once. And that was for celebration and i didnt even get really high. I have a high tolerance for it. If I wasn't with Ben, everytime that I would have spent with him I probably would have been high. Grrr. Okay. So.. I've come to this. I don't need drugs and alcohol to have a good time. I get high on life. Srsly. Its 100x better. I remember when I was with Ang + Jenn and we were at the park on the swings.. I felt high. Super high, but i wasn't!! It was awesome. That was a good night. I don't really remember it, but I know it was good.