Once again The Residents. Yes I love them. Okay life is boring.. just though I would update cause i have nothing to do. All my friends are with their boyfriends and I'm here just thinking about everything. Ahh my life is so boring.. its unbelievable.. that's why i want a job. Then I could have money and buy more stuff for my guitar and be happier and stuff... Okay well supposedly we're all going to the mall tomorrow? ALL OF US! How gay I think. And by all of us I mean Kristen, Ben, Shelby, Dave, Vic, Irma, Angela, Ashley (?), Jennifer (?). But I am only hanging with kristen, shelby, ben, dave and vic.. I don't really want to. I want to do something else, have fun. I bet that I won't even be there again. AND NO i am not going all emo im just having raging horomones or something...I'm going through a withdrawal. Like a drug withdrawal but not drugs, more like activeness. Since I don't do anything like I used to I am getting all sad and "leave me alone" or "you neglect me" to everyone.. That's why I need like.. someone... but no. I don't have anyone. Kristen shut up you don't count. Meeehh I don't tell anyone anything anymore. I write it all in here.. but it seems that words mean so much more and when people read this they act like I don't mean it. Well you know what?? I DO MEAN IT. I am having problems and have always had a suspicion that I would die young (NO NOT suicide dumbass), maybe some wierd stomach thing or something cause I have so much shit wrong with me. Oh, you don't think so? Okay lets see: that wierd stomach thing that I dont remember the name of i coughed up blood last month my back is fucked up my knees are wrecked I get freaking chest pains- sign of heart problems I almost died from pneuomia last year There see? I think that's pretty bad, for me. I am NOT saying I am the most unfortunate person in the world cause I AM NOT. I am actually very thankful I am as fortunate as I am. But I realllyyyy dont want all these problems because pain sucks. I just HOPE i dont die or anything because.. I just have alot of things I want to do in life and haven't done them yet because I cant... Today I realised: it's idiotic Later, Tessa