This is what Amanda has to say to my "damnit all to HELL" post :) "Honestly, I admire you. You know why? Because, I can trust that you're not going to do something stupid like doing drugs, drinking, or cutting yourself. From what I see, no matter how hard anything gets, you're still doing as much as you can to fight doing something stupid to yourself. You're not like other people, and I'm glad. You can handle alot of shit, which is an excellent thing. Life can get rough in the days, months, and years to come, but as long as you have something to keep your mind off doing drugs, drinking, or cutting yourself, you'll get far. You have your guitar, your music, which you love. And as long as you stick with that, you'll be able to get through alot of things. I've been in almost the same situation as you. I know that you can't talk to some people about some of the things going on in your life, and I know you need time alone - everyone needs it, and that's what makes us mentally healthy. Things get in the way, but maybe you could take a weekend and just block everything out - your parents, your friends - whatever, and just do what you want to do. If that's what you really need, people should accept that. Around your age, right now, you'll go through a tough stage in life. You'll pull through it. I know it, and I trust that you will. Acting like everything is okay is fine, for a short period of time - but then things bottle up and usually people can tell that something, deep down is wrong. I know I can't sit with you and talk to you about alot of things, but you do have your friends, and if they really care about you, they'll want to sit and listen to you. Yeah, I'll quote Avril Lavigne right now, "Freak out, let it go." everyone needs to let go. We can't just hold everything inside and act like our life is perfect, noone's life is perfect, no matter what they say. Tessa, just stay strong and do what you do best. (Whatever that may be.) I'm always here for you, so you can come to me and ask me about anything you want to." Thank you so much Amanda. No one has ever said anything like that to me :) I will always think of you.