Nummer Eins. My parents. They just get drunk every friday night and I have to put up with their drunken bullshit. Of course I know it's gotten better since I was 6 or 7, at that time they were BOTH full fledged alcoholics, and now its just dad. But still. I cann't express in words this hate I feel for them, they piss me off so bad. Oh and you cannot fucking force me to go camping with you. Nummer Zwei. Ben leaving. Yeah I know it's only for 2 fucking weeks, but this is not what I am used to! For the past while I have seen him every day and before that it was 3 or 4 times a week. And this is MY LIFE and I know it will be hard for ME for him to be gone. Now I dont give a SHIT what anyone thinks.. "Oh it's only two weeks she's just an emotional little brat." Yeah well maybe lately I am really emotional but no one I know can possibley understand how I feel at this exact time. Maybe I am overreacting but all I have to say to ANYONE.. is FUCK. YOU. Nummer Drei. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. ANd you know why? Because of Ben. And I know NONE of my friends know this because I have extreme trust issues in which I expect EVERYONE to talk about me behing my back and to make fun of me. And this leads to me having troubles telling my feelings to anyone .. You don't know how I feel about him. And to anyone who is "Oh, yes I do. I have been ... blah blah blah." Shut the hell up. No you don't. You don't know my exact emotions so don't even try to pretend to know what the fuck I am talking about. And if any of you are thinking "Oh, that's not going to last. You haven't even been going out for very long." Well you know what? Keep it to yourself, let me enjoy this time of my life. I have complete confidence in this.. and no one can spoil that for me. So if you're going to try to give me relationship advice or some shit like that, please don't. I didn't ask for your advice so I obviously don't need it. I have taught myself so much shit already I don't think I need you now. Now I am not trying to tell off my current friends, but expressing my feelings. Afterall, what are diaries for? This isn't dedicated to anyone in particular, but I have gotten comments along these lines from many many people.. and I'm just fucking tired of it all. From my dad telling me that Ben is most likely cheating on me, to some of my friends saying it won't last, I'm fucking fed up and about to rip anyone's tongue out because they can't seem to find happiness in their own lives.