Do you see these tears im holding in my eyes,I feel helpless worhtless becasue of you,I have never felt so scared in my whole life,I wished for someone to take me away and save me, I feel locked up and tired of always trying and always losing. The heart is wearing thin not becasue of you, just the evil soul you own,I scream and cry and nobody sees what i see, maybe im a little over my head but i know i deserve a chance at something pretty....I have been used they all filter themselves through me , Because of you i yell and kick my feet i hate you , i cant stand the way your eyes hit mine. Im amazed im still breathing the oxygen you breath,i dream of something beautiful I know you once had a dream,As i take a long hard drag out of this cancer stick i remember all the good times we have had, i think what iam I going to end up like someone like you or someone i wish i can be. Im falling to pieces becasue you scream lies into my head iam falling to the rock hard ground, you spit evil words at me when iam down you censor yourself infront of others,Betrayal and denial is all you are pathetic is what i dont want to be, At my age you were living a hell in your own apartment going through fases i refused to used. I break infront of you and you show nothing..hatred is what i have learned from you, you are scarey to some,i stand up to you tho i know you can hurt me even kill me and you almost have, i still stick up for myself i refused to be abused like you have they men in your past have beaten you to the core now all you have is hate and anger. Im strong ...yet weak you are the one who knows all my weak spots, i have insanity somewhere inside of me, where is it when wil it come out! I hate how i cant say that you are my best friend.. your the one personi cant stand i dont want to end up failing and end like you feel sorry for myself.you build up lies and convince yourself that they are true just give up im not as weak as you!! Nov/15 i have to move out with no job and still in school