I found my yoga book. I’m glad. I’m getting into the whole yoga lifestyle again and maybe I’ll become a vegetarian too. I need to clear my mind and get centered. I’m always off kilter and I hate it. Or maybe I really love it. I dunno. Anyway, the point is that I am no longer going to attract negative energy. Yesterday I wrote an entry that I didn’t post. I feel like I’m lying to my diary. It was too personal. I think that I expose too many of my faults. Maybe I wouldn’t have so many if I didn’t talk about them. And maybe people wouldn’t see me different from who I really am. Last night I watched Roseanne and Darlene said it best when she said something like this: “It’s like I have this image inside my head of what I want to be but when I go to school I’m a total dork again.” Take out the school part and dork and insert anywhere and spaz. I haven’t written anything in months. Not anything that is even worth the 50 cent notebook I wrote it in. Total writer’s block because I’m going crazy. Things seem so clear to me in my mind but when they come out on paper or the screen they are totally screwed up and make no sense. I have a total inability to commit. Sidenote: Right now I am eating melted cheese on saltines ...is this a further indication of my insanity? It seems weird to me that I would crave this at 10:19 at night...