I made some ice coffee today and it was yummy. I am now coming down from a very high caffeine high. It is not fun. Work today was easy. I am happy. For the moment. Today I read some of my old entries and I sound so different now. I used to light and happy now I’m all “my life sucks” all the time. I don’t like it. I will improve. This morning I finished a romance novel. It was so cheesy and good and I loved it. And who doesn’t love a good ole cheap love story? I know that I do. But the bad thing about reading them is that you have an unreal idea about how love should really be and it screws you up. I’ve probably read over a 100 romance novels and I am totally ruined. Last night Jenn and I were talking about our ten year high school reunions. I don’t care if I am dirt poor and alone I will rent a BMW and pay someone to go with me. For some reason it’s important to me for all those rich, assholes to see that I am not a total nerd. I know when they remember me they’ll see me with my nose in a book. Maybe I could have been valedictorian if I’d paid more attention in class instead of reading. And that would have been cool. Val the Valedictorian. Anyway, I am still Nose-In-A-Book-Val and I’ll never be Miss Perfect. The good thing about that is that I don’t want Mister Perfect I want Mister-Perfect-For-Val. Jenn’s graduation is this Saturday. I’m going to cry so hard. It’s hard to explain. In our family there are the older kids and the younger kids and Jenn is the last of the older kids. When she graduates that means that I am old. I’ll be 20 in 9 months. 20! I don’t want to be the girl that watches her life pass by. I won’t be that girl. That’s a promise to my diary.