Twice now I've glanced back, over my shoulder, as I've walked away from him. Twice now I've seen that sad expression on his face and choked up, wanting to burst into tears while walking up those stairs. Twice now I've known that I turned my back on everything that makes me happy and everything that is best for me, as an individual. Twice now I've cried over it, then felt numb. Its just not fair to have everything you ever wanted for a short amount of time, only then to have it taken away from you. I miss his smell. Just being able to hug him. I miss kissing him, in that cute no-tongue way, then smiling at him. I miss laughing and knowing that he thinks I'm pretty. I miss being able to say whatever comes to my mind. I miss being myself. I miss being proud of him and knowing that other people love him just as much as I do. I miss him teasing me. I miss being happy with him. I just miss him so much. It's so god damn unfair, no one should have to go through that, not again. God, not again.