Listening to: The Rasmus - In the Shadows
Feeling: curious
Why do people cut? I've been thinking about it, and I'm very unsure of why I do it. The way I look at it, it must be:
1. They hate themself, or feel the need to punish themself. I don't really think this is me..
2. They do it for attention. I don't this is me either, because I've only ever had the guts to tell one person about it, and I'm not even sure why I did. However, a girl at school on Thursday, when the teacher left the classroom briefly, shouted out to her friend something and showed her what I thought was something red written on her upper thigh, with something sharp.
3. To relieve stress/tension/anger. I think this is maybe why I do it. It seems about right, but it doesn't make sense, because some of the words I write have meaning behind them, like "nothing" or "hurt".
There are probably also other reasons, like peer pressure or to make someone else angry, maybe. Another thing is that I've noticed that sometimes cutting makes me feel special, or at least different. Sick as it is...
Anyway, its all very confusing. But anyone reading this who has cut/does cut, could you please comment with your thoughts and why you think you do/did it?
And then I started to do it because I felt bad, because I felt pure hate and loathing. I'd slice my skin at night in bed with a retractable knife and wait for a slight ooze, and felt that the hate might seep away from me.
Don't do it much now...:)
*lEx*