What the motherfucking hell is wrong with me? I seriously can not do one thing right. I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I have awful judgement, I really am just very very dumb. I dont know what we should do. I'm sick of everything being so fucking expensive. The fact that The leader of this country is going to take a lot more money from me now doesnt help. I fucking hate this society, Australia is SUCH shit country and it's all because of the Liberal government. The economy and society is designed for us to get into as much debt as possible and earn as little as possible. What the fuck? I'm so damn paranoid about all this that I'm depriving myself of the one thing I actually want in this world, because being with him is very expensive. The one thing which actually makes me happy, that thing which I've had to give up far too many times, I want to slit my wrists, I want to slit them so bad, I want to bleed. I can't find a reason for existing, other than him, and I can't have him. It's disgusting, I disgust myself, I hate myself, I hate myself so much and I'm so fucking messed up and alone. What the hell? I'm so, so, so very wrong. I'm a very abnormal human being. Occasionally I take pride in this, but I think I have issues. I don't know what or who I am, I don't know what is best for me, I dont know what I'm doing, but I know I'm unhappy. And I know it's my own fault. I honestly, honestly cant do one single thing right. How the hell am I supposed to be a functioning adult in the world? I'm so god damn disgustingly wrong. I really, really just can't find a reason to continue how I'm going. And I'm too unsure to make any decisions whatsoever. Maybe, maybe if I kill myself it would be best. Motherfucking Jesus, I'm such a fucking pretentious hypocritical disgusting excuse of a person. I hate emos, I fucking hate most people, I hate myself, but I'm just the same as everyone else. And some how, some how, it doesnt help me to get better. NO. NOTHING WILL, NOTHING EVER EVER EVER WILL HELP ME GET BETTER. And if I can't get better then there is no point in living, at all. None. I wish I wasn't so indecisive. Help me, oh god, help me someone, please, pelase help me, I need so much help. I ramble on so fucking much. I need to shuttup, as I've already said, why the fuck can't I just stop typing? I'm so god damn worthless. Pathetic. I swear I am so good at angsting. Watch me be a hypocrite, everyone! Just kill me. OH god, make that decision for me, please, please help me.