Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I want to cut myself everytime he does something I don't like. Or every time he doesn't do something I think he should have done. He doesnt care, at all. At all at all at all. It's stupid. Why am I wasting my fucking time. I'm just down. I feel like I have nothing and I feel like crying simultaneously. Jesus, if I wanted a no one I would have gone to Ipswich and found a boyfriend from there. I want someone else. Someone. Someone with a fucking future. Someone who does things, and doesnt just sit on his ass all day playing video games or sleeping. I feel like shit. Like I'm destined to be nothing if I stay with him. I know I will be. I wish he knew this, he might be motivated to actually do something. Hah, probably not.