Me and Kirk finally split for good, and here's my story. Two monthes ago, I meant a guy named Bright at a job orientation. We started talking as friends. He had a girlfriend (We'll just call her Cunt), and I was with Kirk. I hung out with him at his house watching movies and eating pizza. I know 'BIG NO-NO'!!! I told Kirk, because I didn't have a guilty conscience. I'm not a cheater and he knows it. Well, he broke up with me. It was a really bad one too. I was devastated. I felt so alone and empty, and still kinda do. We had plans to get our own place in a couple monthes, and start a life. That was all squashed in a matter of seconds. Bright was there for me, but I also found out he liked me. He broke up with Cunt, so he could try to get with me. I was really uneasy at first, because I was still deeply in love with Kirk. He was trying to get me back too. As much as I missed him, I couldn't ignore Bright or my family and everyone else telling me the Kirk was bad for me, and Bright was a great guy. So I kept turning both of them down. I went a couple days without talking to Kirk, and that's when I decided to give Bright a chance. He bought me flowers and clothes, took me to resturants, opens every door for me, takes me anywhere I want, shows me mad respect, and is very cute. It's like he's the man on the white horse here to take me away from my shattered life. But it's also like I'm living a fairy tale life that belongs to someone else. I still ended up sneaking out with Kirk, and crying every night just to hear his voice. Why? I told Bright. He wasn't happy, but very understanding and compassionate. Most girls would die for a guy like this. Why can't I tell Bright that I love him when he tells me? Love and hate are the most power words, and I won't use them lightly. I have to make sure I really mean them. Why do I feel like I'm dying inside? I should be happy. So why do I miss Kirk so much? He's falling apart too. I can't sit around and watch him do it to himself. That hurts more then not being with him. He's back on coke real bad, and he tried to mess around with some little girl. I know he's lonely, but damn. I think a little piece of it is that because I can get over Kirk then I can't open up to Bright. I built a wall that no one can get through. I thought guys like him didn't exist, so I don't want to look like a fool again if this isn't gonna last. Kirk is ripping me to pieces. I love him unconditionally, and I don't know what to do without him. Bright is to nice of a guy for this. I can't take all this anymore.