Before I start talking about the baby, I'll tell you about me and Kirk. Everytime I expected kirk of cheating, I could never prove it. Well Sept. 10, I picked him up and took him to walmart to get a drug test, because I had no idea where he was the night before. When we were walking back out, I looked over and THERE WAS A HICKEY ON HIS NECK. I don't mean a little one either. I flipped out right in the parking lot. He was coming up with excuse after excuse. That was anything but a hickey? Oh yeah, he DID NOT pass the drug test with flying colors. So I started doing some digging. His friends little sister told me he saw these two blonde girls walking down the steps when they came home at 7am (the same day he called me to come get him). I found out that it was Christy Hollis and Casey, the two biggest whores in my town. They are only 15 yrs. old too. Well after that day Kirk started acting like super boyfriend so I knew he was feeling guilting about something. At the beginning of Oct., we were at eat n' park when my friend called, and was like "You know how you thought Kirk cheated on you last month. Well, he did. You can pick up the pictures tomorrow." I told her thanx and got off the phone. I told Kirk it was time to confess, because there are pictures. He was like "I didn't know what I did. I was so fucked up I couldn't even remember most of the night. i just woke up that day and knew I did something stupid. That's why I'm trying so hard now. To prove I want to be better to you and that I love you. I want to have a family with you." (Oh yeah, he even got a good job where he works most of the time.) I just walked out, and sat in the car and cried. He came out and I dropped him off at his house. The pictures just ended up being him holding her at the hips, but they must have made out hard core for him to have that big of a fucking hickey. So I wanted to have a talk with little miss Christy myself. My girls thought that would be a bad idea since I was pregnant and I would have kicked the shit out of her, because she knew about us and the baby so my friend talked to her. She said Kirk was going to leave me for her, they didn't have sex, kirk has liked her for awhile, he said I was a bitch to him all the time, and that she couldn't get him away from her. Kirk freaked out when he heard this shit. He was like "I hate that fucking whore. She ain't good for nothing, but a peice of ass and I didn't even want that at all. SHE'S THE FUCKING BITCH WHOSE LIKED ME FOREVER, AND HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET WITH ME." I know it was both of them. Going through all that hurt real bad, but it has made me a lot stronger. Then, the baby came and we got back together. If he would have had sex with her there would have been no way. I just figured I'd give it one more shot for the baby. It would be better for her if we were together, but I wasn't taking no shit at all this time and he knew it. He's been doing nothing but working and spending time with us. It's still hard to look at him the same, and most of the time it just does feel right. It's more like our relationship is convenience. I do love him, but I don't know if I could ever get over what he did. He's really trying to prove himself to me too, but I'm just not so sure it matters anymore. Anyway, my new baby is perfect. She is my life, my love, and my whole world. I guess I should thank Kirk for that. Since he doesn't know how to love me, he gave me someone that will love me more then anything. It gets a little hard staying home and taking care of her by myself all the time. It's really lonely. I start back to work this weekend, and even though it will boost my confidence a little, I'll miss the baby so much.