I'm so emotionally drained. I feel dead inside, and everyone is noticing. My family looks at me like I'm the outcast now. And it's all, because I have to much compassion for two different guys. They don't think I can make good decisions, and I'm starting to think they're right. I'm to scared of making the wrong decision so I just leave it all dangling in the air. I just want to give up on everything. Me and Kirk still talk, and we've hung out twice in the passed month. I love him to death, but my family hates him, my friends tell me to move on, and even his mom has told me he's no good. I guess it just matters how I feel about him though. I know he's a really passionate person who would give the world to anyone that he loves. If I get back with him, he's going to give me money to start saving to get a place, and try again. Then, there is Bright. I can't hurt him. He's the only guys that has ever shown me this much respect. It's like, through him, I realized how a guy is suppose to be. I tell Kirk everything about me and Bright, but for some reason i can't be as honest with Bright about Kirk. I tried today to tell him that I was confused and everything else. I couldn't do it. I saw his face when I started to tell him, and it made me melt. I asked him where he planned on being in 5 years from now. He said with me, working, and happy. He wants me to move in with him with no expense. I don't know what to do. I can't open up to him until I deal with my issues. He said that nothing perfect last forever. I told him that it was because nothing is perfect. I'm not being fair to either of them right now. The only advice that I have got from anyone that makes any sense was from my friend Mac tonight. He told me to leave them both alone for awhile until I get my head straight. I told him I was scared of losing them both, but I guess the more dedicated one will be around when I'm ready. I'm so confused about everything. Kirk will always do crazy stuff. And Bright will never be crazy enough. I need to just sit back and think all this through without everyone in my face telling me what to do. I'm driving myself insane. Everytime I think I made the right decision, people start talking and I start doubting myself. I'm never gonna be happy!!!