fun birthday. we went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday's and then went to Ashley's to help clean then I came here and hung around and burned Mae and The Ataris and stuff. then we went to eat at Raindancer and they gave me a huge piece of cake like smothered in hot fudge and whipped cream and i was like oh gawd..haha it was good though then we came here and opened presents and stuff and i got a digital camera and money and shoes and fun stuff like that. and my party is friday. i.m. me for details. yeah it was fun but i miss clara and somebody else who's here but not HERE because of terrible circumstances. poor kid. oh how i heart him...i'm so so sorry. i'm sorry i said those things about you baby and i never want to make you jealous on purpose because i think i'm in something called love with you but i don't know. the things i'm feeling and complaining of are the perfect symptoms of teenage love. and the only cure is for you to let it all out because no one can keep all that grief inside them. you'll stop feeling and i want you to feel me and i want to feel you because you need someone. i know you do. so let's just go with this, this beautiful connection. put the weight on my shoulders baby, i'll shoulder it well. i miss you so much...