...long time no see huh... it's been a while since i've wrote anything so let me drop you some lines... well where to start... well, the last time i wrote summer was just ending and everything was still not so great... things haven't changed. we started school august 6th and i've got some crapy teachers and classes of course and not many friends to be with... then, we had jigabug's birthday party and he invited some of his friends over. we went to my aunt susans and had a pool party and cooked out. it was great... but of course me being the only girl it was not to pretty...lol b/c troy wasn't there so i was by myself. then, the next week or so it was just the same thing. school everyday nothin good on the weekends and yeah just being to myself of course. then the other week me and troy made a bet b/c he thinks i can't keep on a no sweets diet so i'm gonna prove that boy wrong and maybe lose some weight at the same time(i hope) and then this weekend me and mama had a yard sale. we sold a pretty good bit of stuff i guess...made 44 bucks which isn't bad but we could have done better. and that's pretty much it on my days... ...the things with my parents still haven't changed. the fighting between my parents and me and my parents are getting worse of course... that never gets better it's me you're talking about here... i mean things just get worse and worse everday...they say something that makes me mad or either mama and daddy start fighting about me and it makes me so sick... and the stuff about my dad finding a job is still the same... nothings showed up for anything. and so were still trying to find somewhere to get some money...which mama found a place with her good friend faye that gave her a job that can hold a little something for now but not a big something... ...on another foot, things with my friends...(or so called friends)are okies i guess... just like years before...you've got the ones you just hang around for someone to talk to and then you have a best friend or 2. which lilly and jenny are my best friends but lately i just feel away from everyone i guess... probably just having to get back to schol and all. ... speaking of being away from everyone that brings me to troy...things have been....how do you put it....i don't know what to call it but to me it's not good put it that way... i mean him having this job just sucks....yeah sure he can have more money now and i'm really happy for him but i'm so tired of all this not getting to talk to each other and not seeing each other and all of this that i feel and when something happens to me or i'm not feeling good i can't even call him to talk b/c he's working and i just can't take it anymore.... and i just don't know what i'm goin to do...yes, i love troy so much and would do anything for him and i hope he knows that but this is really hard on me... and the other day i was texting troy when he asked me if things were okay between us or how i feel about thing between us and i said i don't understand what he means... well, i did and i just didn't want to answer and really i don't know how i feel about us... and that's bad to say but it's true... the going to differnet schools and not seeing each other or talking just seems to get worse everyday and i know he's supposed to be able to drive soon and all and he says he's gonna come see me but that's not always gonna work and there's just more negative things than positive here and the negative just seem to never end... but anyways i need to get off that subject before i start crying over it again like every other time but anywho... umm, i don't think i have anything else to write about and if i do i'll be back with more later but i think this is it so i'll see you laterz... *doodles*