guess it's to bad that everything we have is taken away... i need him so bad right now and i can't even have him... doesn't that just suck. i used to could talk to him whenever i wanted to or if i needed him in the middle of the night i could call and he'd listen to me but she stopped that knowing good and well she was gonna say he can't see me either. she could at least let us talk i mean god... i just can't deal with all this anymore. it's stupid completely stupid. i need him so much and i just can't take not having him here with me. he would hold me and talk to me and say sweet things and just make me feel all good inside, ya know that melting feeling or all googly eyed, but he can't. he's the only one who can let me know things are okay but he can't do that now... he can say it but actions speak louder than words. he'd tell me he loves me in such a way i'd just melt in his arms and i can't feel any of this anymore. i can't touch him or kiss him or see him or show him how i care and i can hardly talk to him. and everything that's going on now is just making things worse for us b/c we're fighting and arguing about things b/c of our moods and that's not right. i just can't take it anymore... i don't know what to do when i'm so afraid like this. i scare myself...and that's bad. how am i going to know that things will be okay... are we even going to make it....................... Hey baby, baby I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I know it is hard but we have to make it through this. I mean i know neither one of us can handle losing one another right now. I know it isnt easy and its not going to be easy but still we are the only thing each other have left baby. Im sorry i cant be there as much as i want to be and as much as you want me to be but im gonna do what i can. Maybe me being able to see you Valentines day will help or situation. Just trust me and stay with me here i need you more than anything. We can make it through this and you should know this being you have said it many of times and i know you ment it baby. please just hang in there and we can do this bagy. I love you. Well im gonna go for now. bye baby