yeah i haven't been by in a while. well, i just haven't wrote anything so this time i will, i'll try to anyway... umm...where to start. basicly things have just gotten worse. after ew years it was back to school and all that drama. my classes are pretty boring and slow of course. algebra II, ethnic studies, chorus, and biology. what a combination...but anyways. then the 15th was a year and a half for me and my baby troy. we hung out all day and got to chill in the hot tub :-D LOL it was fun and nice so i enjoyed myself. well, now were getting to all the detailed stuff. the 22nd was supposed to be my 16th birthday and be all specail and stuff. right... like hell it was...well i had plans to go to dinner and a movie with my baby and my parents were letting me go. then, fiday night something got to my mom and she just canceled everything. this was even worse beings troy had me a surprise planned too (which was very sweet by the way baby) and she canceled it all and ruioned everything and she was the one who said it's supposed to be special and wanted me to enjoy myself. oh yeah i really enjoyed myself...yeah. well, incase anyone cares...my birthday was HELL, no correction, i didn't have a birthday and won't again but anyways. so she canceled everything and said all troy could do was call me which sucked b/c i can only talk an hour now but that's a whole other story. so i got one phone call for my birthday. none of my family wished me happy birthday and none of my friends either. everyone just forgot or didn't care of course. troy was the only one who did and it wasn't all that convencing being all our plans were canceled so he wasn't in a good mood and niether was i.and on top of all of this crap there's more... right now everything with my mom is screwed...we had it out the night she canceled everything on me and we haven't talked since...which that was the 21st. and now i only have my dad i can talk to and we don't always get along well either. and i can't talk on the phone now but for an hour and now it has to be from 4:30 to 5:30 when i get home in the afternoon so that sucks. and i can't see my baby for i don't know how long either...he can't come over anymore and it's not like i can go over there... and i don't think i can go anywhere else to see him either... b/c that women said i couldn't do what i wanted unless i do what they want and she's not talking to me so how am i supposed to do what she wants if she doesn't say it...but ya know...it's just hell over here... i mean they can take whatever they want from me...it's not gonna matter, but when they go to troy...i can't take it. it's killing me like crazy. i don't know why i'm not dead yet... i just really can't take it... i care about troy sooooooooo much and miss him sooooooooooo much and it just sucks. and really i'm scared... b/c i do really love troy and i want to be with him for the rest of my life and i mean it and we have so many plans and hopes and we can make it...but i don't know... i just hope troy can stick in there and that's what's scaring me. i don't know that he'll be okay... just b/c this has happened before b/c we go to different schools and he'll be around couples everyday and he can't see me and i don't want him to feel like last time. he was saying he doesn't know if he can handle all this and do this and i just don't want him giving up on me b/c i really won't be okay and i just hope he can stick in there with me... if i can do it he can do it and he needs to know that... i just can't make it without him so he can't give up or i won't ahve anything to live for... i mean he's the only reason i'm still going and he's gotta not give up... i love you sooooooo much baby and you can't let go... well, i'm kinda lost on words now and everythings just all mesed up so i need to go and i'll be back later with more... b/c i'm sure something will happen. well i'm gone.... i love you baby... and i miss you too... ×jessica×