hey lonely diary, i sure know how you're feeling... i left you for like 7 months now but i'm back. how long, i'm not quite sure but i'm back. a lot has happened obviously or i'd a been back before now huh. well, yes lots has happened but that's not what i'm here to talk about right now. ...just the other day something really shocking happened and for me it seems like the end of the world and people say i'm over doing it but to me and in my world it is the end. well, my boyfriend troy broke up with me wednesday and i really don't understand why. we've talked breifly and not about to much so i'm still lingering here on the edge of the cliff. i just don't know what to do. i love troy so much and i need him so bad. we've been together for 2 years and 4 months and he needs a break... it's shocking. we've made it through plenty of things before. some good and bad and i'm really hoping i make it through this with him b/c i do i love troy more than anything in the world and if it wasn't for him i probably wouldn't be here right now. but i truely do love troy and i just want to talk to him and work things out. we can talk to each other baout anything so why didn't he come to me about this. i beginning to think it's me but he said it wasn't so is that the truth. i just want to know what the problem is so i can get this all fixed and over with and move on in my life with troy by my side, that's all i want. i want him to say he's sorrie and that he does care for me and that he's just been stressed and neede some time to think things over and just come back to me and give me all the love he has but i don't know if that's what he's feeling and going to do. and i mean, i've been grounded for the past month so maybe that had part in this. being away from me tore him up inside a bit or maybe i did do something i don't really know. i just know that i do love troy with all my heart and all i'm doing is crying my eyes out every day and night waiting and hoping the phone will ring and he'll want me but i guess i can only wait and see what he decides. i just hope he wouldn't want to throw away so much time and fun and just all the memories and things we've shared. i just know that at least he can't say i don't love him and don't want to be with him b/c i want that more than anything in this world and i'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him to see that and to get him back to me... well, i don't exactly know what else to say. i just keep repeating the same things over and that's b/c i mean them and all this fixed but i must wait... he wants his time and space to think about things or set stuff right well i need to give it to him whether it helps me or not so i hope he's making the right choice and i really hope he loves me and cares for me as much as i do him. and i know i'm missing him more and more and more each day, hour, minute, and second of everyday and i just want to know that he feels the same. ... i know my love is true and pure but does he feel the same... that's the question that goes unanswered here... and when shall i know the truth... ×dying out slowly, like the flame from the candle that once glowed so brighty× *i love troy*