hey hey... what's going on? me, well nothing much. bored here at the house. got on to check my mail but of course the computer won't work right. stupid thing. anyways... omg... i got my hair done today and i love it. i think it looks great. it makes me feel good too. i feel HOT!!! lol j/k. it does make me feel better about myself though. i finally saved the money to do something for myself and so i did. i got black & blonde hi-lights and with my hair a dirty blonde color it looks like i got brown put in it too. it's cool looking but anyways enough on my hair. humm... what else to talk about. i don't know. my life is boring there's not to much to talk about ya know. school was boring and long today. i took 2 tests today that are supposed to help me with the graduation tests next week so yeah it got me out of 2 classes so i guess it's okay. we've got another one tomorrow and one friday too i think : but anyways... i don't know what else to talk about... wow.. my tummy hurts : ekk. ... well, i guess another thing that's on my mind is troy... as always. i love troy so much. he means the world to me and i just want to be with him. i mean, i think were together but i don't know. we talk everyday and i see him when i can and we're working things out but it hasn't really been said that were together ya know. and i really want to talk to him about it but everytime i do i just kinda freeze up b/c i don't know... maybe i'm just afraid of the answer ya know cuz all i want is to be with him and i want to talk to him about everything but if i don't get the answer i want or think it is then i'll be hurt and i don't know... i just gotta do it or give it time so i guess i'll see cuz i'm supposed to talk to troy tonight and actually i said something to him today. i asked him what "we were" and he asked me what do i think we are and he never really answered but he acts like were together or wants us together so at least that's an up side. . . . troy if you're reading this just know that i do care. i want to be with and i will one fo these days... no matter what i have to do. and i really want to talk to you about everything b/c i don't like bottling it up inside but i just don't know... i want to be with you so bad and i want things to be great for us but i just hate to say the wrong thing or ask the wrong thing and it not be what i want to hear ya know. i want things to be right and you have to decide b/c you know i'm here and i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things work and you just... you gotta help me and show me troy. you know the little things matter and the more you show the better it gets and i just . . . . . i need you so bad troy... you don't know how bad i'm hurting inside without you... i know you're here and i know you say you love me an miss me and need me too but you have to prove it troy okay... even if it's something small... it still counts. and if you want to know where to start it's with them cigaretts. i don't want to tell you what to do but i can't handle you smoking okay... so if you're really going to stop that's great but you said that last time so prove it. well, i'm gonna go and hopefully talk to you later tonight and get everything out there and i still gotta talk to mom about saturday. well, i love you so much baby... talk to you later. kisses (muah). see ya everyone... toodles *doodles*