I dunno how to describe it, i guess you could just say sometimes i feel empty. Its good when your with friends and having a good time, but when your left alone with your thoughts you feel empty, you realise your empty. Is love worth fighting for anymore? or am i just not wanting a relationship / any affection from anyone in a relatioship-type way. i feel like the broken lover, or the scorned princess, told her prince is never to return so she takes her life to be free with her true love again, but i dont know what that is, i haven't felt it and it eats me to think that there is all this love in the world and ill never feel it prospure inside of me, i have the answers i just dont have the test. sometimes you just feel disconnected from all kinds of emotions my thoughts are empty and i feel so lost, like someone's slayed the dreamer. sometimes i drift so far away from the real me, everyone has their down days but sometimes i can get so negative, and never see anything good about life and so i think its just dragging on and feel like im waiting for nothing... the hardest part is trying to put feelings into words, how can you do so if you dont know how you feel or why you feel this way... there are perks of the job though even though you just feel like your still falling, certain things put a smile on your face and help you carry on. there always is a silver lining to every dark cloud but you just have to sometimes find it, if you sit back and wait for it to appear, you'll never see it. everyday you grow older and more colder and if you dont do something about it life just passes you by and before you know it, your sat in a pub asking yourself what went wrong and telling stories of your failed life to anyone who'd care to lend you their time, thats my worst fear...letting everyone thing fall from under me. i came this far why stop now, but you have to consider if you have any fight left in you, you need to inspect yourself and make sure your going to be able to hold on. still, you have to be prepared for anything... you never do know whats around the corner. i guess a part of love which eats you apart is desire, everyone has a sin, a burning flame that keeps you wanting and wanting, someone you long to hold and feel for, someone to help you and feel for you someone to want you and someone who will stand by you in your time of need...someone to hold your last breath when this life is over someone who will cry a tear for you when this life is taken from you... when you walk down the street, round town and you see old couples who have been married for years, around 40-50 at least, and they still have that spark in them, as if they were "rowdy" teenagers again, and it makes you psychically sick to think that you might never have that, ever... maybe one day ill become a ghost that haunts a clocktower awaiting that one special person to come and rescue me...har har... anyways life tires me now so i shall retire to my quarters