EDIT: HOLY SHIT I JUST LOOKED HOW LONG THIS POST ACTUALLY IS...WOW MY BIGGEST EVER!! AMAZING :P tehehe, ah well...enjoy anyways... wow this past 24 hours have been an intense emotional rollercoaster lol... start off... spoke to Hannah on msn last night around 8-9pm, usually she msgs me sayin like Hey or sends me that kiss/lips smilie anyways, she never msged me, so i thought nothin of it, and was like okie dokie lets see how she is and check if she's still out tonight... pmd her... for about 5-10 mins i had a REALLY cold conversation with her, she just wasnt acting like she normally does on MSN, and concern was growing, so i talked with her and had a frightening conversation with her which nearly resulted in us breaking up, apparently she said she was thinkin about shit and doesnt wanna hurt me "when" she fucks up (her words) so i was like u aint gonna fuck up :/ and proper tried to steer us out of the shitty mess which had been created...she said she wasnt gonna come out and she needed to think and i was like "well is this it for us? are we over?" and she was like "i dunno" anyways the convo ended with a "ill come out deffo, and we can talk then..." i started to feel like shit, i shoulda been like "yay @ my fantastic ability to pull this thing around" but i wasnt, as i was facin an uncertain future relationship-wise... anyways, chew comes not long after and skins up a Jay, that managed to settle my nerves a bit however i was still fair shitty and the THC wasnt helpin my emotional status... anywas we went picked adz up, and as we pulled into vies car park my heart started racing, i was getting proper nervous and shit kinda like i was walkin into court to be sentenced lol. so i walked in, no sign of Hannah anywhere, so i got my drinks sat down and started drinkin and havin a smoke anyways about 10 mins later chew nudges me and points in the direction of a fleeing Hannah, she went upstairs and Ginge followed, i thought OK ill give her, her space to speak with her mates and shit so i gave her some distance, 5 mins later im like shit i need a pish so i ventured to the toilets hopin that i wouldnt bump into her as i didnt really wanna know if we were finished yet. anyways she was sat on the steps, she said hey and i was like umm hi. i then made a cowardly exit and rushed for the toilet... i was walkin out the toilets and looked @ the wall and written there was "Barbie n Ste" (there was somethin else written under there looked like "STO" but upon further examination it looked as though someone messed up on the E and made it an O i dunno, ANYONE KNOW WHAT "STO" MEANS? lol so after breakin a lil smile @ that, i left the bog, pretty much feelin as though i was facing a dumping... i sat next to Hannah and said "so whats goin on with us?" and she just shrugged, i said "well u wanna spk about it?" she shook her head... so i said ok ill leave ya to it... anyways about 10 mins later Hannah marches over to me, (i watched her walk all the way towards me) as i watched her i thought oh dear "walkin the mile" type thing or "dead relationship in the makin" so i pretty much prepared myself for an upsetting conversation which involed the words "sorry, its and over" anyways to my suprise she came up and gave my a huge ass kiss, nice and long and pretty steamy LOL... our best kiss yet, besides the fact that it symbolised that we were good and still together it was a fuckin ace kiss lol so anyways when we managed to part lips i said "so this mean we're good?" and she said "yeah :D" and a big happy grin came across her face... so i let out a huge sigh of relief and that was that, she came sat on my knee etc we kissed some more blah blah blah etc etc... anyways she was like "btw im on pills" so i was like =/ k... (i dont like pills) anyways she was like "steeeeeee, would it be ok if i kissed this girl?" and this girl was fair fine, i've seen her around b4 etc checked her out b4 nice lass" so i was like "yeah ok" and Hannah was like "omg really ur sure ur ok with it?" n i was like "[@cool mode]yeah its cool babeh" lol so they kissed and hannah was like wow as if u let me kiss a girl.. cant remember what i said was sumthin along the lines of "yeah but dont be kissin guys n nothin more than kissin" somethin just came to me then lol i shoulda said somethin cheesey like: "they can have your lips, but i want your heart and love" lol (soppy cunt ste LOL) anyways later on she asked me if she could kiss Kacy.. LOL!! i said it was cool n shit, plus it was a bit of entertainment for caddy as he was practically cummin all over (lol :P) so Kacy and Hannah were sat with each other and Hannah was like "heh my new best mate" so i think them 2 be very pally an shit... i thought it was a bit weird, coz me and Kacy are kinda ex's (i dunno if we are officially ex's but we had a wee thing goin on a while ago) anyways later on, hannah showed me some writing on the door in girls toilets, it said somethin about her and then it said Ste <----------> 3 inches LMAO so we just laughed it off thinkin "lol nat and her silly childish games again lolol" anyways we kissed lots and shit like that made sure everythin was good... a few things are on my mind, 1. at one point she said "i love you" to me, and i was like "wha?" and she never repeated it, so it was either a mistake or she didnt want to say it too soon incase it freaked me out or sumthin? 2. she said something like "i was scared coz im fallin for u really fast" sumthin along the lines of that....(i was stoned all night so im not sure if she said it or someone else sed it to me about her e.g. Jo or someone else, i know Jo said that she might be fallin for u too fast on msn but im sure she said it aswell i dunno) 3. she was like, if u dont want me to do pills tell me and i wont... ok, problem here is - i couldnt say no really coz its not my call, personally i dont want her to be doin pills coz they fuck u up but on the other hand if i was like NO DONT U TOUCH ANOTHER PILL i would be just as bad as that queer who she works with (ill explain a lil later) so its a kinda catch 22 situation... anyways yeah so good night in all, i think i pissed off/ offended Ginge and that Adrian guy, basically i was proper fuckt @ the end of the night and i was like "oh man will u look after hannah for us tonight" me being the concerned bf lol, and ginge was like well i am like her best mate, then turned round and said "erm arent we the ones that suppost to be sayin that to u" and i was like "yeah but she stoppin @ urs tonight" and it was a bit awkward, i may have sounded like i was droppin hints that i wanted to crash @ Adrians with them lot (i wasnt btw i had chew and adz crashin @ mine so i couldnt have gone anyways + i dunno Adrian so i wouldnt crash @ his unless persuaded ;) ) anywhoo, yeah i found out why hannah was the way she was on MSN..(have to thank alcohol and pills for this coz she was more open about it) i guess this was the talk that she didnt want to have earlier... basically, she works with a 24 yr old wanker. think i need to elaborate more on that eh lol... right, she works with this guy called Mark, they had a wee thing a few months back which ended in Hannah txting him, sayin she liked him etc and he read it in front of her and basically laughed in her face so she was like reet fuck u then. but since then they've been good mates (he's a lil replacement for Sam as she doesnt get to see her much and sam is lik e her ultimate best mate) anyways she wants to be mates with him, however he;s been giving her a hard time @ work recently. she told him about me and her being together and since then he's been giving her shit treating her like shit and basically being a wanker and fillin her head with loads of shit trying to control her... basically he's one of them fuckin weirdo control freaks who likes to control people.. if it continues id like to see him try and control my fist from smashing his face in 4... my guess is he's tryin to get between me and hannah, by sayin shit like "this isnt u, being all relationshipy and stuff, ur used to bein single and free, remember how easy it was being single, u never had to worry about anyone else, how r u gonna juggle your hectic life style and find the time for a relationship" and so on, or words to that effect... so basically i reckon he wants her single so he can try and get her to be a fuck buddy (bcoz he's an ugly fucker who cant go out and pull) its getting me angry just thinkin of the cunt and what he's prolly gonna be lining up for her tomorrow... i really dont want her to be havin a shit time @ work, so an easy option would be to just walk away from this relationship... but i really like her, although it might seem selfish to be like na dont walk away let her have a shit time @ work... she says she has it under control, but i tell you now, if it continues and i get more shitty cold conversations like last nights convo, im gonna go in and have words with the cunt myself, and depending on his attitude i may just leave it @ harsh words or waste the cunt in front of all his work buddies... i dont wanna do ewt yet coz: 1. its early days in the relationship and it might not work out yet for other reasons... 2. hannah would flip (but if she gives me the green light ill go do it) i doubt id just walk in and do it ;P id prolly drag chew along with me, he's big and scary he'd shit himself if he saw chew :P either that or his balls are soo big he need a wheelbarrow to cart them around in, and he'd act all macho... heh i can imagine him being all macho sayin like "whatcha gonna do brotha?!?! there's security guards everywhere" easy responce: "i can garuntee id have u in a coma b4 they managed to restrain me" god im good :P sooooooo, overall this 24 hours has been intense, however due to me being a smooth talker (has to be said) and Lady Luck shining down on me, and faith and hope all being on my side, everythin worked out... guess i should thank pills for makin her all "right fuck this i aint letting that prick control me" =/ anywas hope u enjoyed the long assed read lol cya ps i know kacy gonna be reading this so shush yo mouth about it :) and same goes to caddy who'll prolly be referred to it by kacy lol