I hate seeing people fall, and what I hate more is when I can't help someone because I'm part of the reason why they're falling. There's someone who used to be a friend of mine, and she's going through a lot of pain. It's only the kind of pain that I can read about because we don't talk anymore, and that is my fault because I fucked up greatly. No matter what I think of her, no one deserves the pain she's going through and I really wish I could tell her that. I really wish I could apologize to her, but I'm too chickenshit to actually say something. I've attempted letters of apology, but they never go anywhere. I can only write these bullshit words. I never do anything. I hate this attitude I have lately. It's completely wasteful of the girl I could be. I hate avoiding conversations, not returning calls.