I've been doing a lot of thinking. That's really the only thing I can do to pass the time. I've been so busy lately, but I have this overwealming feeling of carelessness. I just don't care anymore. Thursday, I helped out at school for student council. I basically showed freshmen around and what not. And then afterwards I walked to the mall. It's funny that if guys don't hit on me enough I feel unattractive, but as I was walking to the mall people honked at me and guys yelled out their windows and even that didn't even make me feel attractive- it just made me feel like a prostitute. I hate that I don't know what I want. Friday morning, I woke up early and saw my best friend for the last time. We had some coffee, and we sat in my driveway and talked like we did when we were kids. I walked through the house and it echoed with each step. The walls were stripped and the halls were empty. I grew up in that house, and I felt like my childhood was ripped away from me. I'm happy for their family though. It is good for them to move on and have new opportunities. After crying and our goodbyes they just drove away. It started raining and I didn't care. I just walked around, and a car stopped and asked me for directions. I just cried and answered them quietly. I looked like a fool, but I really didn't care. I went inside and got myself ready and I went to school for a student council workshop. I started to do better when I got there. They had a slip and slide and the girls were acting to good to do it, so of course I did it in a white shirt and red bra and new jeans. I was soaked and I went to work, and changed into my work outfit. However, My bra soaked through my shirt, and it was hell. I got over it. A couple that comes into the restuarant every week brought their son. They told me last week that they would. They said he was infatuated by me, and they tried setting us up. However he's much too old, or I'm much to young, and I didn't want to be mean, but I just wasn't interested. The events carry on. I did buy an espresso machine though, and I've been drinking lots of cappuchinos and espressos. It has stripped me of my appetite. So I might go swimming today if Dawn doesn't forget to call me again. She forgot to call me last week, and she apologized forever and felt so guilty, but I told her not to worry.