Things lately have been so odd. I was starting to get closer to someone, but I guess they completely pulled away, which is fine because I don't care that much. It's another person on my very lengthy list that I just don't like. It's just another person that I don't like, It's a shame, I don't like most people. I've tried changing but I've always ended up being the same person. Maybe it's me being pesstimistic or me being despondent or me being realistic, I'm not going to change no matter how much I try. People don't change. It's not fair for me to say but I feel as if the people I'm always putting first are always putting me last. I hate thinking that way and accusing people of things, but It's honestly how I feel. We got our report cards this week. I managed to get three a's and one b. I haven't bragged about it to people because not all my friends are doing as good as me, but I realized, I don't care anymore. I deserve to brag about my grades because I worked my ass off. I'm sorry if my friends did bad because they didn't try, they're having problems, or because they're irresponsible. I'm taking all honors classes, and working my ass off and I managed to get great grades, I could be careless and I will not pity those people who sleep in class, or who act like they don't care in class and then get upset when they see their grades. i've been unridiculously bitchy lately and I think it's because I'm tired of all this bullshit. I'm tired of people treating me like shit and then getting upset and act like I'm the bitch because I was a bitch back to them. I'm tired of hearing bullshit from people, and I'm tired of people hating me for being happy because they're depressed. I'm also fed up with people being depressed, maybe it's because I seem empathetic, but I am. I love my friends deeply, but the truth is life sucks and it's not going to get much better so why wallow over it and cry over it when you could move on and be happy? I don't know what is wrong with me and why i'm so irritable, I'm just so tired of this cycle I've been stuck in. I think I just need new friends and a new attitude or something just to change me. maybe I need some action.