i wrote a note for someone, but i was to afriad to give it to him.. so maybe he'll read this. i wrote it in 5th period. i started crying in front of the class. i don't think anyone saw me though. Why aren't you happy? all i ever tried was to make you happy, even if it left me completely miserable. i don't know why i tried so hard, and kept coming back for acceptence, when you never cared for me. you lied. and you did was lie, you said i was perfect. you only completely noticed me, when i was there in front of you. i was you're lil toy. you tortured me, saying yo u love me when it was just a lie. 11 days it will be a year. i am certain you don't remember that. i was in love, but you never realized how much i loved you. you just threw the words around, treating suicide like a game. why'd i put up with it? i swear, all thhhese scars remind me of you, i can't forget you now. you're name is carved in my leg, it's right after the words "i love". you're in my flesh now. i don't want that. everytime i had the razor in my hands, all i saw was you're eyes, the eyes that made me go numb when ever i stared in them. i know i need to move on. but you're following every step i take. you're just lingering behind me. i don't want that. i'm starting to desolate, if i wasn't before. i still don't know why i never left you in the dust. i will never understand why i cried for you, and why i bled for you. i thought i saved you i always thought i could. but you were never quite there foor me to save. and even if you were, you wouldn't have listened to me. why did i put up with your abuse? i'm not okay it's all yoour fault. you were meant for her not me. girl to girl. it's them not me. maybe someday you'll take my place and bleed. and i'll be like you and laugh about it.