As I sit here writing my heart away, I think about the more pain i add each day, The agony takes away my breath, My mind is way to concentrated on death. I've lived a life of lies and stress, Each day, trying to live at best, But everytime I make a mistake, I add to the count of pills I take. My dreams are filled with horror and gore, They leave me wishing I had something more, A knife or two is all I need, Just something that can make me bleed. This shattered heart beyond repair, Let's me think of one last dare, Live just one more night and one more day, And here I sit alone I pray. Save me from my lonely life, Please help me up from under the knife, Teach me to live again, The only thing I ask is when? I don't want to drown is this pool of blood, Help me climb from this crimson red flood, I ask for help and thats is what I pray, Let me live just one more day... That is one of the poems I wrote a few nights ago. That night sucked ass because i found out Joey cheated on me. He told me they went "not quite oral" The next day he comes on begging me to take him back and that he only kissed her.. I asked him why he lied about the not quite oral and he said he didn't know... If he just told me it was a kiss, i would have had the heart to forgive him but the fact that he would lie about something like that pissed me off... It happened last friday... i went to his house on saturday and he didn't tell me ... and that sunday we spent all day arguing... and i was guilting him real bad... and he told me that "guilting someone was the lowest thing anyone could do" and then the next day he told me he cheated on me... talk about fucking low eh? fucking coward told me two days later over MSN... i can't beleive he didn't have the fucking balls to tell me when i was there... I cut myself yet again... leaving about five gashes on my wrist... the next day my mom saw and i had to tell her everything joey if you read this i just want to say thank you... you made me lose my mothers trust... an you also broke my heart... but i still love you but i don't have the will to forgive you.. Why am I here? Why am I always living in fear? Why am I alone with a tear? What won't these screams stop ringing in my ear? Why am I always called the whore? Why are my arms always so sore? Why can't I wish for something more? Why am I in the only room without a door? Why do I have nothing to say? Why did I turn the wrong way? Why am I the only one who has to pay? Why can't I ask for one more day? Why can't i be less shy? Why do I always cry? Why am I obsessing over a lie? Why am I the one who has to die?