Tuesday, August 09, 2005

by dreamdeferred
So yah I was in a very good mood for a while and then I took a walk and started thinking about what people would say if I died? I knwo people would be sad, I mean I've gotten to that point with everythign that I just don't think that anyone would not care. I know they would but I'm just not sure what they'd say. And who's fault is that anyway? Mine. Becuase I don't let people in, becuase I try to let people get close and then I always have these borders. I don't tell people things. So would anyone really know me? Would anyone really know what to say? Would they just be like: Oh she was very nice She was always so helpful She was quiet She was a freak She didn't really touch me She seemed nice enough She was stuck up She wouldn't party She was a prude She should have been a nun She was political But not of that is all of me. I mean how does one even really get everyone to know them? How do you like tell people things or let them know things all the time? Don't people just want to hide certain things from certain people? I mean and then how does anybody ever really know anyone? Can we all be ok with that? I mean am I comfortable with not really knowing my best friends? Are they comfortable without really knowing all about me? Is it normal? Does it matter? Does anybody else give a flying fuck but me? Should anybody give a flying fuck? I dunno. I dunno if it bothers me. I dunno if it should. All I know is that I was wondering about it.
Read 3 comments
I think you underestimate truely how much of a tragety it would be if you died young, how much of an impact it would make. As for what would be said...I have no idea what I'd say. I try not thinking much about death unless I absolutly have to - or if I'm depressed. You worry that somethings wrong that you don't know everything about your friends and they don't know everything about you, you shouldn't be worried. If we knew everything then life-
-would be boring! It is the unknown and the adventure of getting to know all the little ins and outs of each other that keep us alive. I'm sure you could name ten things about you that I don't know just as easily as I could list ten things you don't know about me. (Actually that could be fun trying to stump each other) sorry not trying to be light about your fear. I'm not content to be in the dark about you or my other friends. -
I want to know/be a part of every aspect of your life whether its "normal" or "wierd" I don't think theres much of anything that you could say you support that would make me stop being your friend (I'm pretty liberal if you can't tell) not to mention I probly feel the same way or I might if I knew the topic. There is so much you know that I don't, I'm jealous for your knowledge. Teach me master, share with me yourself so I may learn all there is.