I don't even know where to start? I forget what I wrote last and I don't really care. I'm tired kids. I'm content but tired. Last night I was so emotionally drained and I had to sit and be something for people. We showed Hotel Rwanda and I had to help be incharge. I had to help lead a discussion and talk to people and hold people or reach out to them...and I didn't want to. I wanted to curl up in my room with the lights out and curse the world. I was just ready to drop but I did it. I was glad becuse now I know that I could be running on the praverbal empty and I can get through it just fine. In fact I can do more then get through it, only a few people knew how much I just wanted to cry or beat the living shit out of someone. It's good to know you're limits. It's even better to know that you can always reach down a teeny bit farther for people. Espically if you want to do what I want to do. I wanna help people. Whether it be through teaching or working for some orginization. In that line of work you need to be able to put yourself aside, to go that little bit deeper to achieve something bigger than yourself. Even though it's hard, I still would have to say that I love it. I hate feeling sad and angry but that comes from so much. From PMSing hardcore. From feeling like there are all these problems and all I'm doing is running a video and helping a discussion group? I think it's not enough, but what will EVER really be enough for this world? How much do people have to give? How come some people are always giving that little bit extra and then otehr people sit there and suck them dry and then laugh while they continue to make the world harder for other people. Then there are people who do absolutly nothing, or who say "oh thats sad" and do nothing. How does it happen? I'm not saying that the last example of people are bad, I just don't know how they can't feel that pull? I do. It's like a line that I've wrapped myself in and how when it tugs I feel like I have to go with it becuase it may be someone's last life line. Anyway so I'm ok kids. I mean I'm tired and kinda grumpy and emotional but I'm ok. Better then ok actually. I'm an impassioned person. I'm fucking alive and I can run on empty. lol. I know this didn't make any sense but it wasn't suposed too I don't think. I think I'm just typing and thats fine. "If you keep your Goal in sight, You can climb to Any height. Everybody's Got the right To their dreams..."