It's funny how things can go so well untill one person says something or does something and you're great mood can be ruined. It always seems to happen, ya know? You're happy...so happy and then one little thing can ruin it. Let's go back a bit though. Sat was a very interesting day. Anthony came up early to spend the day and after running around in the rain, basically missing K's concert I was thrown a surpirse birthday party. It was all very ellaboratly done and I seriously didn't know about it. Somehow I was distracted ALL day and never even knew. My roomates got as many people from home as they could to come up which made it great since everything seems so septerated now. They know that it kinda bothers me, that sometimes I wanna bring it all together but it's hard. There's juts too many people and too many sceduals and all. So it ment a lot. There was drama, of course becuase there's always drama and things can't just be about me. Even if it's suposed to be about me, it won't be. "I don't want you to hurt I don't want you to sink But you know what I think? I think you'll be fine! Just hang on and you'll see- But don't make me wait till you do To be happy with you Will you listen to me? No one can give you courage No one can thicken your skin I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy I will not lose because you can't win" "The Last Five Years" had become like my new/old favorite thing to listen too. Things are just kinda crazy now. I'm just frazled I think. I have my period and right now I just wanna cry. I was in such a good mood. There was cake at work and it was for a birthday so the lady shared her cake with me and people at work sang to me. Just when I was eating my slice (with all this extra frosting of course) a delivery of flowers walks past us towards the main desk and Fr. Jim says "Hurry, Bridget, there are you're flowers." and I laughed and said "I never get flowers" but I went to check anyway. They where for me. I freaked out and was beeming but I was embarssed becuase I had been wrong and becuase of the attention. So my mom had called during this so WHILE i was working I called her back. Yah trying to multi-task...never good. So I ended up offending her becuase I was tlaking about other things this weekend instead of a family party on Sunday and she hung up quickly. Thankfully work was over so I called her to straighten out what I had said wrong so she wouldn't feel bad becuase they had just sent me flowers and shit and of course I ruin it all. I ruin everything. So I did and there was crying and now I just want to curl up and cry. I'm in pain and I'm trying to plan for this weekened, a mtg tonight and party day on thursday becuase things just seem to be falling apart and I just wanna enjoy my birthday week. I wish I wasn't envolved. I wish things where just going well. I wish that everyone would tow the line. I am so grateful for the good things that have happened and to the people who make it happen. Thanks to everyone who's my friend, dispite the fact that I seem to ruin everything. Thank you God for my friends, for my health, for the presents, that I'm in collage, for just everything good. I have so much still to do. I just wanna go to bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be good though. I'm sure I'll be happier later. And the clock said: "Na na na na, na na na Oh Schmuel, you'll get to be happy! Na na na na, na na na, I give you unlimited time Na na na na, na na na Just do it and you can be happy!" XOXO Bridget