GOD DAMMIT i put up with far too much. today proves it. he completely takes me for granted....no fucking wonder his girlfriends cheated on him or ignored him...they probably thought they were broken up by the way he acts. it's a damn good thing his haircut sucks, makes it sooo much easier for me to face him. haha i'm insane. he seriously does not appreciate all the shit i've put up with. he's sweet one day, completely ignores me the next...and then he freaks out when i ask him if he really has feelings for me??? well i'm sorry but what's a girl supposed to think?? i hate him. he just walked away. didn't say a word, then i shouted to him and he just waved his hand back. like he did the time before that. and the time before that. i can NOT take this anymore!!!!! he's too much stress on me....but i love him. and that's why i put myself through this. because i think he's worth it. but god dammit he needs to know that he is not the dominant one, that is me, and always will be. he's a stupid whiney little baby who can't get over his past girlfriends and then he treats me like shit. no way. i'm gonna sit him down and (oh so calmly) explain to him exactly what it is that he's done wrong....wow that could take a while....too bad. he needs to get it through his thick skull that you DONT do that shit to people, you don't ignore them when you supposedly care about them---and if it's because of your own inner demons, you TELL them so they know it's not them. but this time i know it is me. because he didn't ignore everyone else. he wasn't sad. he was fine. tomorrow, i'm going to put on the coldest face that i can and tell him everything i feel right now. how angry i am with him, how much it sucks, but i'm going to do it very calmly. just with a cold face. he's never seen me angry, certainly not with him. tomorrow (as i am today) i will be. i'm going to ask him if this is a permanent thing or not. (with my luck he'll say i don't know. in fact i KNOW he's going to say that. that's gonna hurt...but it's better than him saying yes i never want to kiss you again, etc.) if it's a permanent thing, then he and i have to have a long talk. if it's not then he needs to tell me so i don't freak out. ----------------------------- kill me... i begged but love said no... leave me... for dead and let me go... ----------------------------- so i say goodnight to you and leave you with this after all you've put me through your kiss was meaningless.