i give up? mebbe...mebbe not...we can't be sure. time will tell. (time being the next week that i have to figure it all out) but i refuse to sit and pine forever. it's just too draining...and really i don't know how long i'm gonna live. seriously i'm not trying to be all melodramatic, i just have this weird feeling that i'm going to die young? so carpe diem. seize the day. and i shall. i hate wasting my time. i hate that feeling so much it's sickening...wow i totally dig the sound of the saxophone. it's totally that lame smooth jazz shit, but it's the beginning of a dire straits song and it sounds awesome. HA. ADD. oh yeah cool poem i wrote. it's not good...and it's kinda childish coz it rhymes but i love rhyming poems, i think they sound more authentic when they do....i dunno. i'm insane remember? Now look at what you’ve done After all that we’ve been through Yet haven’t we just begun? I know now I loved you I want to stop missing you It hurts like never before Seems that no matter what I do I push myself out the door So why are you running away? I don't know what I did wrong There is so much I need to say Why did this have to last so long?? I’ve held my breath in waiting That someday you’d come around But you'll continue hating Leaving our lives unbound All that here we are Is what I'd wished we'd never be You leave us in the dark Is this what you want from me? One day you'll realize what you left What you let go Because I’m the girl That loved you in ways you’ll never know You held me close Said everything would be alright Said you cared about me And I thought you might Then you looked into my eyes And I thought for sure it must be true That you, so perfect you Could someday love me too Even in my long goodbye I’ll never let it go No matter how our story ends No matter all my sorrow I see you do no wrong I will always love you Why can’t I just move on?? You aren’t who I once knew... When I say I’ll always love you Maybe I truly will But then I remember how you treated me How nothing I am to you still Love is blind But now I see The you and me That wasn’t meant to be I once loved to see your face Now all I have is fear All misery soon erased And then you too shall disappear So I say goodnight to you And leave you with this After all you’ve put me through A kiss is just a kiss