today was french and english finals. french was pretty easy and i think i did well....but incidents surrounding french class were not so great. sigh. i'm pathetic...i still don't believe a word he says. he said he would still come back...but how i do i know he's not just doing what jesse is doing for his gf? how do i know he's not just waiting till after finals so it doesnt make my situation worse? haha that's a stretch i know...but honestly i can't believe anything he says...i don't trust him. he's right. i would if he came back but oh look that hasn't nor will it ever happen. so i don't trust him. yeah so madame thinks i'm so smart that i should take the national french exam. i was like fine fine if i must...hahaha. so yeah she was like begging me to take ap french next year...so i guess i will? i just don't know if i have enough time. there are so many classes that i want to take but like no time to take them. i REALLY want to take creative writing but when? next year i'm going to have english, history, p.e., french, and math if i don't decide to skip it. i don't know what to do...math is one of my best subjects, so i should really stick with it..but i'll have no time for another elective if i do that. UGGH. i want to take creative writing and art and lit mag and psychology and sociology and strategy...there are so many. but so little time. bah i may just have to take 6 classes next year. greeeeat. wtfever i'm sick of everything. english final rocked. i of course put it off further and didn't have my book report or essay or journals...and i didn't study so i think i actually bombed it? but i finished an hour early and got to go home. so that's good. i got to leave and not deal with everyone...twas nice. i need to do my work, and study for history tomorrow. i think if i ace it i could actually get an A in the class? i'm not sure....mebbe. oh yeah sam was mad at me today. i'm not mad at her for being mad...it wasn't even really that big of a deal. i thought it was kinda funny actually. coz i was just like standing there talking then all of a sudden EXPLOSION. i was like duuuuude....oh well. no big. was just kinda funny how like peaceful i was trying to be and then wham. oh well she apologized so it's cool. too bad i didn't see the message till after she left...uggh and my mom EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY feels the need to nag me about a)everything b)cleaning the house c)my homework and such. whatever. i'll get to it when i can ok?? gOd. __________________________________________ living my life. so get the fuck out of it.