What once was bleak is now oh so beautiful...

Ok so originally today wasn’t all that great and it wasn’t that bad either I guess, but you see I get in one of my moods and suddenly what was mediocre becomes uttlery devastating. But today, after my very low moments where I was sad and feeling a bit self-pitying, things turned around… You see I was on the space, and I felt this urge to look at the profiles of all the people I find completely annoying or repulsive, or people that just bother me in some way (the sad thing is there were a lot of people that fit this criteria). But, all these people that treated me like crap in some sort of way…they’re all imbeciles. Every. Single. One. Is a complete idiot. They can’t spell, they have poor grammar, they say things like "your so gorgeous!! Mwah mwah lovez baby gurl I lovez u so much ur so sexy Hehehe omgzz lolz I luv u babes YOUR so beutifull! Wut up babes yo yo ur fo shizzle luv u! " --- now the biggest annoyance of all of that is the your stuff when clearly it should be you’re. One of my pet peeves is poor grammar. Same when people use there in the incorrect form. There are three of them in case you weren’t aware. But I also hate the ‘gangsta’ speak. I’m sorry, but it irritates me like nothing else, you know that if it weren’t some stupid insane trend no one would genuinely speak that way. It makes you sound like a dumbass. (and for the people of minorities it’s really not good because it further enforces asinine stereotypes that I believe shouldn’t exist, and I’m sorry, but you prove them true when you act like that) And then all the z’s and baby gurl shit. Oh dear god…words cannot describe my agony. Ok I’m being mean but the main point of all this, is that I am smarter and more mature than all the girls that I grew up being tormented by. Or maybe if I wasn’t exactly tormented by them, I was quite a loner in elementary school and many people didn’t like me because…well…I was pretty weird. I didn’t eat paste or anything! I was just a free thinker and somewhat independent with my opinions on things. I’m not gonna lie to you, I was totally codependent when it came to friends and trends (rhyme not intended) but luckily I’ve grown out of that (I hope). But smarter is an understatement. (to be totally modest) I'm a pretty smart gal. I was always in the upper-level classes and stuff (and G.A.T.E. ---genius class basically)and finally it paid off. I'm not sure what it was that made me so repulsive to them, some people just don't like my fabulous personality dahling. But still, I wasn't good looking, my social skills weren't as perfected as they are today (ha. as you can see from my minor rant here), so I guess I was just a perfect target for teasing. *shrugs* It's rather sad when you think about it. Makes me want to cry. *tear* Nearly all of these people listed the ying yang twins on their music. That group bothers me because a) it’s rap (I’m sorry, rap bothers me. I’ll respect it as an art form but it aint music kids) and b) the real term is YIN yang. Fucking idiots named their group and spelled it wrong. That’s really pathetic. I have no respect for that. Wow a.d.d. much? Ok seriously the point is: Girls I once felt inferior to and was hated by....are morons. They’re bitches and they’re bafoons. Life is good. Especially a specific girl that I felt very competitive to in grade school. We were both really smart and pretty good at art. Ok maybe it was one-sided and I only thought we were competing with each other, but I KNOW she was really competitive about the art thing. Mwahaha I totally won…but her page is awful. You can’t read a damn thing and it’s covered with quizzes and all kinds of idiotic things as posted above. I feel so proud to know that I’ve risen above the immature land of elementary school and actually have a decent profile. Well I certainly hope so…according to everyone it’s pretty entertaining? Mebbe? Wow I’m not normally this bitchy (ok maybe I am. I suck, I have bad karma, I’m sorry) but MAN it feels good to know I don’t have to feel like I’m less than them anymore. All of these girls had perfect bodies and perfect faces and I definitely didn’t. Luckily that’s pretty much changed (shit I hope so…). Now I no longer feel in any way inferior to them. I feel superior. Nah maybe we’re all equal…but you gotta admit it’s nice to know the people who made you feel like shit all the time are now complete stoopids and have pages that are impossible to read and will probably work at wal-mart forever. *dances* SCORE!! My page is long as hell but at least it’s legible and (somewhat) intelligently put together. Life, has just gotten better. (you gotta love how miniscule things like this can totally swing my mood into YAYness)
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The Sad Part: for curiosity's sake... until this moment today sucked. i was completely wallowing in self-pity blah blah i'm gonna be alone forever blah blah no one will ever feel for me the passionate love i need to let out into the world blah blah blah i'm a dramaqueen i know. i have been made aware of such on several occasions...by specific people...haha. but in all seriousness it was not a very high moment for me. i hate being sad, and especially feeling so down that i can't see a future, all i see is me dying young, and alone. i have this horrible feeling that i'm going to die young. don't ask me why, i can't quite answer that myself yet...i just have a feeling. so i want to live life as it was meant to be lived! with passion, and love. unfortunately you can't live your life with the sort of romanticism i'm thinking of without another person being in the picture with you. and since (i'm so sorry samantha, you had to find out somehow) i'm not a lesbian...i'm basically screwed. i want to live me life. Carpe Diem. i deserve some happiness, i have far too much passion in my petite little body to just keep it all inside until my certain and early death. someone save me...
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