well todai i woke up at 1:00pm oopz...thats wat u get when u hav a crazy ass dog who wont shut the hell up till 3 am..me nd rachie went to the mall nd she is in a predicament..most of yoo kno that she is graduating a year early from high school nd that she is my favorite sister..i was happy to hear that she was goin to stay close to home nd attend Universit of Wisconson-Madison nd i could visit her whenever i wanted..i didnt kno that the only reason she was goin there is so that i wont b sad nd that her freinds could still visit her..i found out todai that she realli wants to go to University of Colorado Boulder becuz she wants to study science nd astrology there..now i didnt want her to go there becuz that is 1026.42 miles away from here..i feel awful because that is where she really wants to go in her heart but i hav pushed her to madison without knowing bcuz she knos i cant last without her..the reason she doesnt want to go to madison is because,much like me, she doesnt like that scene..its very much like it is here nd people r the same and all jappy nd crap.nd the atmosphere is the same as here bcuz most of stevenson alredi goes there..she is like me in the sense that we are different nd dont fit in here and need to get out nd find our own adventures nd expierences in places that no one we kno would go to nd when she went to boulder she knew it was where she belonged but still becuz of me she decided to go to madison nd with orientation in two weeks she is having second thoughts nd i told her "rachel if thats where you want to go then go dont worry about me cuz i can get on a plane nd come see you and ur not goin to succeed in a place where you dont belong nd if not all of u wants to go there then u will fail for sure.." i also told ehr that "if u dont go to boulder then ur goin to spend ur whole life wondering what if this nd what if that.. its where u belong nd i kno bcuz we are very similar in that sense" but now that my mom has alredi payed her tuition she is ahvin to deal wit that guilt nd if my mom wont pay for boudler then she will take out student loans...its where she belongs nd if she doesnt go then i will feel guilty everytime i see her unhappy face at that campus..my m0m on the other hand says rachel ur goin to madison but rachel is now talkin to my mom about it nd i will let u kno the outcome when i can..if she doesnt go there then i fear for her future and her happiness nd i cannot bear to see her sad nd unhappy...i hope for the best nd pray to G-d that they let her go...i kno it will b hard but we all hav to sacrifice something dont we for our loved ones to be happy? i jus hope she makes the right decision nd that my mom supports her.....n e ways it would b easier to go on a plane for 1 hour then drive for 3 hours..i miss her alredi nd i tear up everytime i think of it but i kno she will make sure im ok nd will talk to me every day i jus wish i could go with her...