so i havnt left yet i dont know what im going to do, i have managed to fuck up every friendship/relationship i have the only person talking to me is hannah. my bf just kinda stopped talking to me and when he is talking to me its all fucking lies im over that shit last time he did this is was cheating on me...wow i have so become the kinda girl i hate i stay with someone who cheats on me and chokes me i just keep thinking i love him and he says he loves me...but thats not enough its really not im so tired of being the only person who cares im this relationship, he lives fucking 20 min away from me but ive seen him ONCE in the past month and when i ask to see him he gets shitty with me he always says 'dont you want me to be financialy (sp?) stable' but what good is that if i never see him. wow i just said a lot about my bf, i could say so much more but i dont want to bore you. so uh i got a rat today, its a girl i dont know what to name her im open to suggestions shes kinda annoying all she does is cry ha shes like me..wow i suck she scratched me i was worried about getting bit i never thought about nails ariel i just read your journal. i love you whatever i do ill be sure to let you know before i do it i have your cell phone # now so i wont even have to call the house i hope you had fun in LA i misss you and love you ill be in contact