Colonel Cathcart & the Queen of Hearts 're playin' cards at the foot of her bed Alice and Yossarian huddled in the closet The Queen shouts "Off with yer head" "What game is this?" asks the White Rabbit The pills've clearly worn off He sees he's arrived too late The game is already lost An' if a rose ain't a rose Then a thorn can be fun By any other name Let's say justice is done Now somewhere out in Texas In the land of the Alamo Davy Crockett an' Willie Nelson Watch the motorcade start to slow Davy asks "Should we recount the bullets? Was it three or four or five?" Willie says "Let's get stoned on the grassy knoll An' keep hope alive" An' if a rose ain't a rose Then a thorn can be fun By any other name Let's say justice is done At Cape Canaveral-Kennedy-Canaveral It was one small step for man "What did you know and when did you know it?" Was the theme song of the land From the U2 to Cambodia Pick any lie you like Maintain plausible deniability Launch a protective reaction strike An' all the leaves are brown An' the sky is gray Casey's at the bat Playin' for the CIA From out of the west where Christ was born Came the long, tall savior Trading arms for hostages Making war with Grenada Then Kuwait, it was threatened Democracy must be restored Alice-- remember Alice?-- and Yossarian are ignored An' if a rose ain't a rose Then a thorn can be fun By any other name Let's say justice is done John Tower buys a round of drinks Bork padlocks the Doctor's bag Hart and Clinton bring the girls Reagan and North bring the swag Bill Gates and Rupert Murdoch are Fighting in the Captain's Tower Do you want to be a millionaire? Regis is King of the hour An' if a rose ain't a rose Then a thorn can be fun By any other name Let's say justice is done In a land that's known for sunshine Even the rain must fall Ponce de Leon took an arrow When he tried to build a mall Leave it to the Grand Rehnquisitor To launch an Equal Protection Strike Yippie ti yi yo ti yay It's the Texas cowboy Reich An' if a rose ain't a rose Then a thorn can be fun By any other name Let's say justice is done But if a rose is a rose Then a thorn makes the blood run By any other name It's justice undone