heylo! just came back from estes park...and god did it suck....actually it wasnt that bad the hotel was nice and had a nice sauna and hot tub, i met a new person, shes really up notmy type of person but enjoying to hang out with, so i dont think im going to email her like she said....anyways i had a bad dream and i woke up crying! thats only happend a few times! its was absurd! so here it is i cant really remeber the begginning but i was out in the front with my brothers, and Carlos(my ex) came over for some reason...we went in Tessa's(my younger sister) room and started talking. why we were in there i dont know, but i asked him why we didnt work out and why everything happend the way it did, and he said he had sex with other two other girls and the upsetting thing was it was with the two girls at the same time, and i said no no, i know you wouldnt do that b/c he has some security issues with "johnny" and he said no the girls and him had a talk, and i was like, yak yak i cant believe you and started crying! and then all the sudden i was naked, except for my bra, and he got mad i guess and got in his car and screeched down the street, and at that point i remebered i wanted to give him something (i forgot what it was) so i went in my room and dressed as fast as i could, and went to give it to him, but he was gone already, and i woke up crying its strange i woke up crying i havent cried in a week and a half(i used to cry at night alot) during the night, and i havent cried during the day since.....since my mom and i got in a huge fight, which i guess was like a week ago. im not letting my feelings show like i used to, its all coming out in laughter! which is odd right? im meeting new buddies, and partying like its summer (o it is!) and having a gay old time! so yea thats my LONG update caitlynn- look a mailtruck! (forever love my dear buddy!)