Today if my 15 months anniversary..... I think, are you still together when you're on a break? Whether we are together or not, it's still been 15 months. You know what sucked this morning? I turned on the radio and they were playing Love Song by 311 and that just made me sad and kind of angry cuz it's like the radio people were doing it on purpose. Love song was like the it song, it was as if the Cure wrote it 20 years in advance just for us. damn it, am I supposed to still be feeling this strongly about her? I'm still very much in love with her and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about calling her but I wouldn't know what to say, maybe she misses me as much as I miss her... maybe she doesn't. She said she'd always love me when we decided to go on our break, does she still feel that way? Has she realized her life is easier and that she's more free without me? aaaaaaargh so many question so much confusion. If she didn't get drugged up and total her car (no money now), i'd be with her now, this week was supposed to be our week. I had it all planned out but I should have known better, when I plan things for us they usually don't happen. stupid me, I was hoping for too much. I'd give anything just to hear her voice, I loved just being able to sit there and listen to her talk and giggle and just be dumb. she's so adorable, so cute, so... amazing. What she was making me feel the past months, the anger and depression, it's as if it never happened, all I can think about is how cute and lovable she is, how she made me feel happy and loved, that I was her number one. But now i'm not her number one but she's still mine and she will be for a very long time. damn I miss her. Anyways, I shouldn't think about that now. I was talking to Larson last night and he said he'd give me a month to decide what percent he has. I guess he figured that this isn't a good time for him to get with me, smart guy, i'm soooo not ready to be with some one right now, especiall since there is a chance me and Jen will get back together, at least i'm hoping there is. Even though I miss her dearly and i'd love to be with her again, I kinda like knowing that I can talk to other girls without it being wrong. Who knows, I might meet some one. The show is this friday, maybe i'll meet some one there. Lots of possibilities. I was thinking that maybe I should call some of my friends and do something, I need to get my mind off of Jen for a bit, at least for today.