why, of all people, did you have to be the only person i can feel anything for? when everyone else is telling me that i'm better than you, and somehow you don't seem to think i'm good enough to even talk to? why won't you tell me i'm just a puppet. that i do mean something to you, but not more than that. because that's exactly how you act. am i a fun toy? is it fun fucking with my head? because you continue doing it, i guess so. nice games, i hope you like them. whatever i can do to fucking please you. like i hung myself and i can touch the ground on tiptoe, spinning and choking, dangling. i'm dizzy and sad. i would like to detach from reality. you tell me i'm in denial, but you've never given me any truth that stays. all i can think is that if you meant any of it, you would prove it. and you never have even though you always say you will. all i want. fuck that. you know exactly what i want. and i'll never fucking have you my mom got me a polaroid for xmas. and a dvd player. i've had a migraine for four days. drinking helps but hangovers don't.