head in hands, fingers in hair, eyes at the wall, words starting to fall out of my mind and onto the floor i don't think i can take this anymore we tried to break free but it just wouldn't stick i dropped out of the water into the sky forgot how to swim but i learned how to fly a broken resolution, this year went by so fast so fast, my promise didn't last but who expected it to did you really think i was telling the truth? i'd never not lie to you... i can't handle your fucked up reasoning i don't want to be anyone's anything i don't like to be what the cold drags in because of the distance you made me bring i don't like to think of you each time it rains i don't like the shadows swimming by i'd rather drive backwards in the wrong lanes i'd rather just crash and make you think that i died and then would you leave me alone? and stop invading the spaces that you call my home this place could never be home... i remember last christmas when i was a mess you saw a heart and crawled in my chest (love is a delicacy where you come from, no?) and i was bored enough to let you gnaw... take bites and chew your teeth sawed right through severing arteries and veins i never complained when you left me to rot, i still did not ask why, scream, or cry i just let you leave because i never believed you wanted anything more than to eat my soul swallow it whole and rip out my eyes, because what i saw was more beautiful than anything you could see. the grass was greener, my mind was cleaner, your eyes were blue like the sky and faded to grey because you let them and i let you. our malfunction was attraction, like magnets we can't shut off.