i decided mystery is better. my diary needs substance. it has become about my appearance and why i won't show my face. most of the diarists here do not show any pictures at all. i could do that instead. because this is about writing, not what i look like. i'm not a prostitute, i'm not selling you my image. i don't even write for you to read it. amazingly enough. i write because i can't tell him. because i can't do anything else, really. can't kill or feel or do anything i want. anything for anyone other than him. kill him because he's like me. kill myself because i'm like everyone else.