does it matter if i use a knife? does it matter if i am alive? i mean after all its me i hate living in this reality nobody will ever notice me then again i am nothing to see i am far from perfect far from real! nobody knows the real me they dont see half of what makes me me i cannot fit in i cannot even be my own friend i am losing all hope losing all faith i do not know what to think nor what to do i just feel like i need to be near you i am sick of crying sick of living in fear sick of not being real afraid of the hatred loneliness and pain why do i feel like i am living in a game the only thing i know how to do is bring more pain to me and you i cannot think but to take the knife putting an end to this pathetic life or at least stop the pain bleeding beautiful red rain there is nothing for me to gain no way to stop my pain