I hate everything right now. I mean i thought i could just hide all my pain and flaws but i cant. i mean they have just built up so high and are one of the main reasons i am such a negative bitch (i think those are appropiate words!) i guess i just need to take one day at a time and try, even with everything going on. I just wish for once i wasnt so negative. and i feel so pathetic because i feel like i need someone around me to be happy and everything, when inside i know that it is basically myself i want around. i mean i totally agree with "i have spent so much time being everyone else...now i want to be me" but i know that there is going to be a LONG search to find that. i feel it is bad to have to cry myself to sleep while just downgrading myself, i really wish i could change to something better.