Listening to: Sheryl Crow: The First Cut Is The Deepest
Feeling: exhausted
i hate assembly days.
and for some reason when we went to the assembly i was really sad and half crying. i really didnt want to go at all.
but mrs. pres made us go even though she didnt want to go either.
she was listening to x96 in her room and it was mildly calming...
and cj had fire in his hands... well he had like lighter fluid and a lighter. it was nice too. like calming.
so i have his pissed off/sad/evil look on my face as we are leaving pres' room to go to theauditoruim and i have my purple pen and am clicking the cap on and off.
and i look down the hall to see if anyone is there, and i see kaleb and jordan and when i get to the corner i hear
Jordan: i saw that look, sarah
sarah: It wasn't directed at you
Jordan: was it directed at me or kaleb?
Sarah: Neither
Jordan: ok...
Sarah: yeah.
then i was talking to tasha and they got about even with us, and i'm talking to tash about how pissed off i was and she goes
" i wanna go home"
and i go "I wanna go home and die" i said it loud enough so that jordan could hear but not mrs pres.
and jordan was...eerily close to me as we went in.
and i sat in my little chair, and i wrote in my journal-
LIKE I SAID EARLIER I DONT WANT TO BE HERE. I WANT TO GO HOME AND FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i started crying. nobody noticed tho... thank god.
i caught him looking my direction a couple times.
the little boys that dance good and the shiny sexy boys made me feel better.
then i came home... now i am talking to arjay and jordan.
oh i told arjay in a note, and she got all quiet most of the day... and was all wierd... eos.
but then everyone weas a little weird today.... so.. oh well.
if tasha hadnt come over, i probably would have come home and done something icky.
wiht clippers or a lighter or safety pins... i'd love speckled knees...
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