ugh. i hate looking back on old things. it makes me want to die. current situation isnt much better really... i dont even talk to him. but oh, i wish i would have told him that joel is fake and that kyle and i have never fucking met. maybe i will invite them ppls over to watch juon. i dont konw. having residual mental conflicts. oh ick. i can't beleive i was so stupid and desperate. god...