A rethink. MY PROBLEM is when i go to bed when im upset it usually doesn't bode well as my fumingness leads to irrational thinking.So im coming up with all these crazy wacked ideas to get back at the world and by morning....its all gone.All the TEARS and ANGER has vanished and im left with a clear head...A RESOLVING DECISION.But yesterday morning this decision didn't come straight away-however when i was randomly chilling it came to me(you see when im upset about something,the issue will be on my mind all day and all night)so,anyway. THE ISSUE is Caddy is seeing someone new and i read on his diary that shes all 5/9,long blond hair and great...you know real HIGH ST HUNI.Now when i went to bed i was really upset,but yesterday i was like WAIT A MINUTE...i'm happy for him.HAPPY FOR HIM-not in the bitchy sarcasm way either.SERIOUSLY. Iwas thinking to myself what was the reason for breaking up with him?OH YEAH.THE REASON i broke up wit him was because of his college work.I wanted to see him all the time and i knew he couldn't....and i didn't want to interfere-i know how much he wants to do well in his-and he should,apparently he's good at what he's done and he has worked hard for it,so why not.AND I DIDN'T WANT TO COME IN BETWEEN THAT. IT WASN'T BECAUSE I STOPPED LOVING HIM!!!!!!!! That sounds kind of NOBLE doesn't it?I gave up the one i LOVE because i didn't want to come between him and his work.Thats got to be classed as a selfless act? I have a little confession to make.I am a very self-centred,it's-all-about-memememe person,selfless acts are not in my nature to do,you have to be someone bloody special for me to do anything like that for you and even then i would of thought about it for weeks. So i'm happy for him,i wanted him to find someone who he can see everyday and not get in the way of his college work.AND HE HAS.And she's really pretty and really nice(i nkow this cos on the first day of college he was like all the girls in my group are really sound and i went skitz cos obviously he was making a BIG point)-which he really deserves,and he shouldn't be shocked that someone like her cos he's a really great guy(unless you piss him off,which is a totally different story)and alot of girls like his kind-i don't even know if that makes sense..hmmm. So yes i'm happy for him but i am upset cos he found someone that quickly(cos i still love him and everything) BUT NEVERMIND,IT'S OK AND I'M VERY SURE THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FINE AND I'M FEELING OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE. :D Just as long as he knows that i love him,and that i'm always going to be here if he ever needs to chat or needs a friend although i doubt i'll be the first one he calls on cos he does have quite a few really good mates and apparently he's talking to Jo again-i really don't think were good friends anymore. OH WELL.AGAIN.NEVERY MIND. Will be back laters....