Well,college....it is of great suckiness atm. I was talking to James about Spen-apparently i fancy him according to him-and i said i wouldn't go out with him cos he's not my type-he's rly skinny,i don't do skinny guys it's just a thing,more of a comfort thing tbh. Anyway thats all i said, i never said there was anything wrong with they way he was,or that he was ugly-i just said he wasn't for me(plus-he has a gf already so go figure???ppl in this place don't seem to see the prob with cheating on each other-wierd)So James has to go off to tell Spen-except he told him something totally dif-it's pathetic it really is you would of thought we were still in primary-So Spen gets all narked about it and apparently he's been whinging about it to everyone(honestly i don't know why it's bothering him so much it's just my opinion) I didn't find this out until this tuesday so by then the damage had been done-and it explains why Spen isn't speaking to me. Basically i've just lost one of the very few friends i have here because of James' big,stupid mouth. So im not speaking to Jmaes-hey,i can play the primary school game too. ..LOL Ash has got a new gf. Now let me make this absolutely crystal clear.I AM NOT JEALOUS. In fact i feel sorry for the girl. But mostly i just find it quite amusing. However,the whole groping,all-over-each-otherness is quite gross and disturbing. It's getting quite annoying. Suppose its just worse cos i don't have anyone atm and i look like s**t compared to alot of girls here-and i feel like it too.Think i need to call Yoda see if she's busy this saturday she always makes me feel rly good about myself.And then there's Ginge who is always good for compliments-wish i had his numba. Well,in other news,this whole not going out with Ste thing sucks loads.I like him waaaay-oh for god's sake,okay i admit it-i love him-there is said it-and i don't mean in the im your mate kinda way.Basically i've just been thinking about him alot latley and it...just sucks,the whole being single thing and the whole he's too busy for me thing :~( Meh i need some Lost Prophets but i don't have it on my mp3 playa-oh well some MCR will have to do- cue brilliant intro: Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say I never want to let you down or have you go It's better off this way For all the dirty looks The photographs your boyfriend took Remember when you broke your foot From jumping out the second floor I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems (I'm not okay) I've told you time and time again You sing the words but don't know what it means To be a joke and look Another line without a hook I held you close as we both shook for the last time Take a good hard look I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out Forget about the dirty looks The photographs your boyfriend took You said you'd read me like a book But the pages are all torn and frayed I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay, now (I'm okay, now) But you really need to listen to me Because I'm telling you the truth I mean this, I'm okay (Trust me) I'm not okay I'm not okay Well, I'm not okay I'm not o-f*****g-kay I'm not okay I'm not okay Im starting to have this little thought that maybe everyone is for themself and you can only count on yourself cos nobody else is gona help you out.Does that mean im turning bitter?You i never wanted that to happen cos other ppl have told me not to let it happen-but those ppl or cold and bitter(or just stupid and oblivious to what is happening to them) and they seem to cope with life alot better.*contemplation*